Overcoming Life's Challenges: A Father's Fight Against Cancer

When I started this journey, I was told that life wasn’t going to be the way it was. Life was going to change and while my mind would tell me I could still do what I wanted to, my body would say different. I was told that it is important to give myself grace. I was told that it is okay to allow myself to have bad, sad, or indifferent days. I was told there will be days where it is hard to get out of bed. I was told that there would be days that all motivation would be lacking.

The truth is there are days like this. Some days I am depressed/caught in my own thoughts that are weighing me down. Thoughts that I need to work through and remember that it is ok and normal to feel. Thoughts of frustration and why me? What did I do wrong? Trying to find some level of logic.

There are days when I am tired and all I want to do is sleep. The motivation to get out of bed maybe there but the motivation to work or work around the house is totally lacking. The motivation to go to the store, or do anything just is not there.

There are days when I’m not hungry and I don’t want to eat. I have to force myself to because I feel like I am going to vomit.

There are days when I question so much in life. When I reflect on my life and have some regrets on choices I had made. Not because I think I lived life wrong but hindsight being 20/20 looking back I can see how I could have done better.

There are days when I try to do things such as an easy 3 mile jog and I can’t. Or, I try to do lawn work and I am just too tired to.

All of these thoughts and feelings and everything is normal for what I am going through. The best advice I have been given is to allow myself to have grace to feel these things. Allow myself to have grace to not be the person I was and find the person I am now. While this changes who I am to a degree it doesn’t change the core of who I am. I just need to find the new and better me. The stronger me for having to go through this.

As I go through this I just need to stay positive, keep my head up, and allow myself to have grace and understanding that things are going to be more challenging now. I can do it though. It is one step after another. It is one foot in front of the other and keep moving.